Sunday, May 8, 2011

SATIRE. FICTION, THE DIET. 5th installment. Only 3 to go.


…we who diet have a never ceasing obligation to those who starve

Robert Kennedy

Wednesday May 28

3lbs to go.

I looked in the mirror, my dimples! Had forgotten I had them. And my clothes hang better. Making progress. Stress free days help. I’ll continue to skip dinner. Had lots of phone calls. Carmela, Chicana activist will come over tomorrow night. We want to get together before she leaves to help harvest coffee crops in Nicaragua.

Carmela suggested we go out to eat. I didn’t say no, don’t want to hear: YOU DON’T NEED TO LOSE ANY WEIGHT.

Clara also called. We are having dinner together next Thursday evening. She is into advancing her spirituality with exercises, classes. But I'm concerned about her. ‘Cause she’s living with Bob, twenty years older than her, boring, unkept, paunchy, bald, and ‘cause she runs––her own words––after him, like a jealous teen-ager. This amazes me, everyone, and even Bob who watches her wide eyed and parted lips: IS SHE RUNNING, AFTER ME? WHY?

That’s what I say too, why?

I want security, she said.

With Clara there won’t be any eating. She told me with great zest she is on a strict diet, At lunch time, the people in the office bring out their vegetables and we all eat together. Is my only meal of the day. That’s it.

At six I’ll leave for guitar class. If I arrive at Burlingame Rec too early I’ll sit in the car reading How to Slice Inches from your Waistline.

And you, do you feel you need to lose weight?

C U nxt Sunday.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

THE DIET. 4th installment. FICTION.

…we who diet have a never ceasing obligation to those who starve––Robert Kennedy

Tuesday, May 27

4 lbs to go. All right!

8am The mirror tells me, the layers of fat––real or imaginary––keep peeling away from my face.

4 tbs bran ½ a banana ¾ nonfat ½ cup café au lait

No vacation from my interpreting work. Have a deposition. Packed a lunch of 6 tbs rice. ½ a banana cooked for a minute in the microwave. 2 thin slices pound cake, handful of almonds. Thermos with café au lait.

These days my focus is on food so I noticed the law office was of the “bones and rags” variety. Nobody offers you coffee, had to insist on getting a glass of water. Sparse, old furniture, nobody smiles. Depo finished. Didn’t ask if there was a lunchroom, would probably charge me to use it. Before leaving the building went in the bathroom. I’m not crazy about eating in bathrooms. But was famished. It was clean. No odors. I attacked the pound cake. The two tiny, thin slices, tasted delicious. Poured myself some café au lait. Rushed to my next assignment.

This law office was absolutely splendid located in the Pyramid, my favorite San Francisco building. In its lobby on exhibit were beautiful ––they looked edible––carved gourds. The suite I was working in had an enormous lobby with an unending view of San Francisco, the Pacific, Angel Island, Tiburon, Sausalito, Golden Gate Bridge. And as soon as I introduced myself the receptionist asked me: How do you like your coffee?

Next, interpreting at a medical examination. The suite small, no views, no coffee. Usually doctor’s don’t serve any.

Once though a doctor produced a cup just to get me out of the examining room. Him and the lady patient understood each other perfectly. He ran his hands through her body and lady patient squirmed and giggled like a teenager making out on her first date. The doctor’s cheeks redder and redder, his eyes moist, lower lip shaking. Then he remembered me, the interpreter, jumped off the lady patient, took hold of my elbow, walked me out to the hallway where he told his assistance, serve her a cup of coffee, please. And to me, ah! uhm! don’t need an interpreter. Thank you.

This evening I went to meet Eva. Haven’t seen each other in a while. Got off at Market and Castro. Damned! Where did Eva say we were meeting, Cocolat?

I walked a few paces on Church away from Market and asked a pair of one way glasses who bent over solicitous and interested, Cocolat? Or something like that.

This way at the end of that building, he said.

That was a tiny store choking with chocolates. No. Damn! What did Eva say? So I walked a little more on Church. Another tiny store, Just Desserts, stared at me. That was it.

They dared me, the desserts. Tried to seduce me. Huge strawberries stuck out their tongues at me, red moist while swaying on oceans of whipped cream next to almonds, other nuts, coconut gratings and oceans of chocolate sauce and vanilla custard.

I’LL SHOW THEM. And holding on to the memory of those layers of fat peeling from face, and the ones still to go, I entered.

So I ordered, SMALL cup of chocolate. No whipped cream.

$ 5.00. I siphoned it.

At a tiny table nearby a party was going on with persons grouped all around it, their children running, bumping into each other, ‘cause of the lack of space, their clothes smeared with more strawberries, whipped cream, coconut, almonds, walnuts than they could eat even if they stayed all night. Obviously they weren’t thinking of all the hungry children in the world. When I was little I was reminded almost daily that they were in China. One child of about five screams louder than the others. Her mother places another pastry in the child’s mouth.

Who invented chocolate anyway? I read, the Aztecs. Did they get fat? Did they count calories? C U nxt Sunday.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

THE DIET. 3th installment FICTION.


…we who diet have a never ceasing obligation to those who starve––Robert Kennedy

Monday, May 26

Lost another pound. 5 to go.

I’m hungry, Oh! brushing my teeth the mirror tells me my face looks thinner already. Maybe it won’t be so difficult. But after my shower the mirror tells me…work on your stomach, make it flat again. Waist line, take away couple inches. But my thighs are firm and velvety. I run my fingers feeling them…caressing them…I lie on my still unmade bed…. Larry likes my thighs… uhm.

After a meager health-calorie-conscious breakfast started to work on the yard the abundant weeds reminded me of an article on recipes for BOILED DANDELION CROWNS, WILD MINT, WATERCRESS SALAD and ROASTED ROOTS.

Tina called, she’s coming tonight . We met at guitar class. Not everyone likes her. She talks too much for some. Is quite a switch, she talks more than me. I like that, I can relax and just listen for a change.

Tina arrived almost on time, totally unlike her. And tall and skinny Tina told me she is on a diet. Has joined some expensive Health Club. I got worried for she’s just quit a high paying job as Senior Project Analyst and her financial situation is very shaky.

We practiced most of the songs we know. I suggested a break. Tina’s voice took on a very serious tone: I don’t know if I can make it through the summer. My grocery bill is humongous. Arny––her teenage son––eats for four.

But she’s joined a expensive Health Club! Tina went on: they count your fat percent. It is very important to TRIM DOWN MY IMAGE. Nowadays, more important than to BUILD UP MY IMAGE. And that’s what this Health Club offers me.

You look very trim to me Tina.

But I am NOT. Tina’s face contracted in pain. Her eyes opened wide she searched for the proper words through the room. Stopped. She found them: I CAN’T WEAR SLACKS. MY THIGHS ARE PURE FAT.

Tina is crazy! I savor one cookie and fixed myself a cup of café au lait! No sugar. No honey. Tina had turned down my delicious cookies, they have a high level of fat percent, she said. Come on woman, live a little, I say.

FAT, Tina used the word, fat. Is FAT real or imaginary?

Will b with U nxt Sunday.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

THE DIET. 2nd installment. FICTION


THE DIET

…we who diet have a never ceasing obligation to those who starve––Robert Kennedy

Sunday, May 25

Managed to lose a pound yesterday! 6 to go!

Focusing on food I notice IT more and more. Smells, colors, shapes. This afternoon on my way to practice French––or will forget what I learned––with my group from Le Cirçle Francais at Señor Pícaro getting off Bart on 16th St, it was the delicious smell of refritos and carnitas from the corner restaurant. The woman sitting on a side fence feeding her baby, her breast the size of a full grown cantaloupe. And the baby’s loud and joyous sucking, sucking,sucking auchhhhhh.

At Señor Pícaro, food, food, food but keeping to my diet had only The Usual, a cup of café au lait, and kept my mouth busy practicing French. Then we all went across town to the Gateway to see the movie Sans loir, sand droit, The Vagabond. My group had thought it was a joli film. Not so, Mona, the girl in the film, was striving all of the time. Always begging for food and at the end not getting any.

I’m exhausted, but do check the answering machine. Larry’s voice, can we patch it up…? I’ll think about it tomorrow. I eat one cookie. A totally empty stomach keeps me awake. These cookies are exactly, 21⁄2“ by 1”.

back w/U nxt sunday

Is her diet any good...Is she going to starve for love also? Will have to wait and see....

Sunday, April 10, 2011

THE DIET. FICTION. 1st installment.


THE DIET

…we who diet have a never ceasing obligation to those who starve–Robert Kennedy

Saturday May 24

7lbs to trash/destroy/burn

These thoughts are depressing. Need to sort it all out: Started during those fabulous parties between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. Lose three pounds, gain them back faster each time. One good evening meal. Nest morning they were laughing at me from the floor scale. And too much bread. Too many sweets to compensate for arrogant, autocratic teachers who drove me bananas. Stress from working to earn my MA in Spanish literature working as TA, as interpreter-translator. Not finding suitable roommates, I overate. Compensating for the uninteresting men I meet. Breaking up with Larry. I overate. But vacation is here now.

Nine in the morning! I dozed off. Rested now and hungry. Close my eyes and dream of ggs over easy, fried sausages, pancakes, café au lait.

I sit in my kitchen eating 4 tbs bran, 1 cup nonfat, ½ a banana. Warmed milk to the boiling point. In the mornings in Pacifica the warmer the better. Mixed it. Chewed it slowly counting to thirty-seven with each mouthful. Learned it from Giorgo who was into Tai Chi and told me, One thing you learn from practicing that ancient Oriental philosophy, for good digestion chew very slowly.

We had fun practicing at dinner, then I found out he practiced his Oriental philosophy while making love also. Always something, drives me to overeating.

What a crisis. Will our newly found heroine meet her goal. Tomorrow is Sunday, DANGER!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

The Diet. Coming soon, already eliciting strong comments:

In answer to: …we who diet have a never ceasing obligation to those who starve–– Robert Kennedy


Scarlet wrote: The letters in the word "diet"can be made into more words such as "tie" , "edit", "id.", and :e.i." The word that can be made from "diet" is "die" which keeps me from dieting. We eat to live.

And Judy wrote: When I saw your email, I thought of: Instant Calorie Cutter. "Women unconsciously chow down on hundreds of calories while cooking meals," says dietitian Somer. "We finish our kids' scrambled eggs, taste the sauce not once but several times, grab a bite of last night's leftovers while rummaging through the fridge for tonight's meal, munch on a cookie while stirring the stir-fry!" The damage: You can put away as many calories from this form of nibbling as you would sitting down to a full meal. To discourage all that nibbling while satisfying the urge to munch, chew sugarless gum while you're cooking and cleaning up the kitchen. The calories saved could easily add up to a half-pound or more of weight loss a week.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

THE DIET. FICTION IN INSTALLMENTS. (coming soon)

…we who diet have a never ceasing obligation to those who starve....

Robert Kennedy

Very sorry, THE DIET, is late! First installment won't be posted for at least, one more week, we are trying for April 9th.

Well, isn't that just like a "diet"? Has anyone ever known someone who said, I'm going on a diet. And did?

It doesn't happen.

Look forward to hearing from YOU. As always, your comments are needed, wanted. Without them, I starve.

I wish you celery and carrot sticks,

Camincha